Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
