Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
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