She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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