I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Randomize
