But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
