Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
