I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Randomize
