toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
