$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
