How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize