ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
