I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Randomize