glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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