One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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