Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
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