If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
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