no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
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