Please, let me fuck your mom
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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