she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
