Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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