Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
She's like a pop up book from hell.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Randomize
