All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
