if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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