ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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