"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Randomize
