I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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