Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
