So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
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