his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
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