i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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