we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
