Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
