i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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