I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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