So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Randomize
