The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Randomize
