Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
