that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize