is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
