I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
