Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
