I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
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