I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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