now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
