is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
