Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
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