I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
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