Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
