i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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