3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
