please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
