Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
