Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
this boner is exhausting
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
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