small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
