Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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