Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
