I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
