Soap is not a condiment
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
