I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Randomize
