Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
