He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize