she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
