all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
