the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
how does that bad decision feel?
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
