Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
