Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize
