I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
