She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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